The reliably insightful Simcha Fisher has me thinking about sentimentality and pain, about the difference between manipulation and earned tears. I love a movie that can really hurt me, burrow into my heart and shatter it and then stay there, somehow making it more whole. But how does a story do that? And how does it make sorrow more than a reflex?
A few suggestions:
1. The pain must be more than thwarted desire. I think this is why most "chick flicks" don't work for me: The be-all and end-all is that, in the end, they get each other (laughs) or they don't (tears). I need something more than that. Some sense, however tiny, of sacrifice. Some hint, however faint, that the love we are seeing is a reflection of a higher love. Romantic love can be selfish, and it's not that I'm opposed to happy endings (see the first item, below), but giving needs to precede receiving.
2. Surprise me, if you can. At the very least, do not tell me how to feel. Jose's death in For Greater Glory does not move me as much as Fr. Vega's "I will always be a priest" speech, and I think that's because of how they were each filmed (or I have some serious issues, take your pick). Jose's death is all slow-mo and close-up, the equivalent of screaming at the audience "This is important! This is moving!! Be moved!!!" It indicates a lack of trust in both the moment and the audience. I wanted to be moved, was fully prepared to be moved, but my contrarian nature rebels at being commanded to be moved. On the other hand, for Fr. Vega, the marvelous Santiago Cabrera just says the words, calmly giving us a glimpse of a soul torn in half.
3. (Closely related to #1) Tell me something more than "Life is sad." I know that. We all do. I have problems of my own - I don't need to cry over fictional ones. There is nothing profound or brave about telling me that life is pain (unless you follow it with "Anyone who says differently is selling something."). Loss is the ultimate truth. Except that it isn't. And if you can make both of those statements at once, and show me that they are both true, then I will gladly cry.
So here follows, in no particular order, a list of some moments that do this for me. I have made no attempt to describe them. The point is that they are parts of a whole that give the whole meaning, so to describe them would be to write the movie again. If you've seen any of them, hopefully you know what I mean, and if you haven't, I won't diminish them by summary.
(Aside: I have limited this to film because that's what I write, and therefore what I analyze, not in any way to suggest that literature or other media can't have the same effect. They can and do.)
Lost, "The Constant": "Penny, you answered."
Serenity: "My turn." (I know I've mentioned this one before, but it belongs on the list.)
Star Trek (2009): "Tiberius? No way, that's the worst."
The Prestige: "Jess, look at me. I will come for you."
Finding Neverland: "I'm not Peter Pan. He is."
Scrubs, "My Screwup": "Where do you think we are?"
The End of the Affair (1999): "Maybe there's no other kind." (I am not giving this movie an unqualified endorsement, but this scene works.)
And now for a sub-list (not exhaustive) from Doctor Who. I'm working on some theories about why this show gets me so often, and so well, but for the moment, let it suffice that it does:
"Father's Day": "No, love. I'm your dad. It's my job for it to be my fault."
"Doomsday": Silence. The Doctor and Rose, a wall and a universe apart.
"The Family of Blood": "Could you change back?" "Yes." "Will you?" "No."
"Last of the Time Lords": "It's just a bullet, that's all, just one little bullet."
"The Fires of Pompeii": "Save someone!"
"The End of Time": "Was she happy?" "Yes. Yes, she was. Were you?"
"Amy's Choice": "It can't be. Rory isn't here." (This one comes close to contradicting #1, though I think it works well enough with #2 and #3. Any Whovians out there who have thoughts on this, please discuss!)
Now it's your turn. What moments are on your list? And why do they work for you?